I was talking with a friend on this National Day of Mourning, and I said the above: Onions have layers. I got that, of course, from Shrek. And I use it all the time. It got me thinking about something I have heard before; the concept of three faces. The one face you show the world, the other is reserved for friends/family, and the other, well, the other you have never shown anyone. Not a soul in the world, not even your closest person. Not even your closest nonperson. The one hidden soooo deep that you despair that if anyone saw this face they would shriek, they would condemn, they would…they would, laugh!! What is worse, people judging your most personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs, wants, and desires. Or everyone laughing at your core. Your absolute truth. Have I been that vulnerable? That honest? That bold? That truthful? Well, that is a yes/no answer.
NO - I have not shared my third face to the world, to my family, to my friends, not my bestie, not, my wife of almost 22 years. That face is reserved for me, and me alone, until I have completely sat with each layer, and deciphered the core truth behind each. Only then will I be able to see if it is something I can share. Oftentimes, thought, my ADHD takes over and I have a tendency to overshare which leads to the next answer:
YES - Like a seedling cracking her shell, and poking her head out of the soil, so too is my third face melting, slowly away. I have done the work. I have gotten to the core of some of the layers, and am beginning to share some of the stuff, I have kept in the third faces memory receptors (or brain sheesh.) I have been allowing ideas out, beliefs, more loudly than ever. I have began to explore more of my life again, concerning my sexuality, and what that even looks like, And don’t get me started on gender - get me started lol. I am definitely nonbinary, but with some binary time, meaning like 8% of the time is spent on the binary. I am not sure what is up with that…probably another layer!!!
Right now, all I know, all I feel, is that layers of my third face are starting to show on my first face. And my second face may or may not know all the layers yet, but they are coming out…slowly
This picture below is ai. Sorry, couldn’t find a pic.
